Procratination at Its Finest
by Geamhta
Summary: Stephanie decides that the best way to procrastinate is to get back at some coworkers. Just some needed relief from Finals stress. Rated for the use of the F word.


Standard Disclaimer: I don't own them- I make no money, only find some sanity from it.

Was written because if I study for finals for one more moment, I may shoot myself. Oh yes, and because I have visions of doing this to the people in my lounge who keep me up way later than I should be. When is Christmas again?

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**Procrastination at Its Finest**

Stephanie leaned back in her chair to look at the ceiling. Spinning her chair from side to side, she contemplated her In box and how little she wanted to do anything. After working at Rangeman for several weeks, the searches were getting monotonous, and this past week the searches had all been marked "Urgent," causing her to work in a frenzy trying to get everything done. And now, she wanted to do nothing. Spinning idly, she overhead a conversation in the next cubicle.

"Did you see how Bomber's been working all week?"

"Don't know how that happened. All those searches must be hard work." The second voice snickered.

"Might have something to do with our decision to mark searches 'Urgent,' not that I would know anything about that."

Stephanie stopped in mid spin. Glancing at her In Box of about twenty files and seeing that the top one was marked "Urgent," she picked it up to look inside. Inside was a standard skip search. Stephanie's blood began to boil. Opening a Word document, she started making a list of supplies that she would need to pull off her revenge. After sketching out an idea, she opened a PDF file that was a map of the fifth floor, allowing her to map out where to hit everyone that had been in on her frenzied work for the past week. She printed off her list and closed the PDF file, leaving no trace of what she was planning. Fate was in her hands today- Ranger and Tank had a meeting in Boston that was planned to last several hours, and they wouldn't get back until almost six. Planning according, she stood up during her lunch break and went to find everything she needed, hoping Ella could sneak her most of it.

She hid out in the Ranger's office on the 7th floor, watching the cameras to make sure that everyone was back in their cubicles before she went down. On her webbed utility belt, she carried two stun guns, both with full batteries, two automatic air soft guns, filled to the brim with black pellets, a roll of duct tape, three black tube socks, and a Baby Ruth candy bar. Slipping her iPod into her back pocket, she tucked one headphone into her ear, tucking the other in her bra to smother any extra noise. Zachariah's "Coming" filled her ear before she left.

She crept down two flights of stairs. Sliding out the door to the fifth floor, she placed a piece of tape over the side of the door, so it wouldn't make a noise when it closed. Her first stop was Rodriguez. His desk was at the corner by the stairwell. Slipping into his cubicle, she stuffed a tube sock in his mouth before he could say anything. "Shhhhh," she whispered seductively in his ear, "place your hands on your desk, and I promise you won't get hurt." Rodriguez carefully placed his hands on his desk. Pulling out the duct tape, she taped his hands to the desk until he knew they would have to cut him out. Patting his head, she slipped two cubicles down. Before she could slip in, Binkie walked up to her. Tapping her on the shoulder, she spun around with stun gun in hand. Before he could stop her, she stunned him, and he hit the ground like a rock. Steph rolled Binkie into the empty cubicle before she slipped into Hal's desk space. Running the stun gun along Hal's neck, she commanded silence. Stuffing another one of the socks into his mouth, she taped him to his chair. Scooting it as close to his computer monitor as possible, she taped his arms to the back of the flat screen monitor. Opening her e-mail, she pulled up a picture of Grandma Mazur in a bikini on his screen and left him wide-eyed with terror.

Knowing that Bobby was next, Stephanie took a deep breath. She walked calmly into the Control Room, and stunned Ram with the unused stun gun. Before Bobby could stand, she shoved him roughly back into his chair. Duct taping his mouth shut, she used the last sock to tie his arms behind his back in the chair. Rolling it out to the middle of the room filled with cubicles, she pulled out both air soft guns and took off the safety on both, sliding efficiently back into her cubicle before either Cal or Lester saw her.

Cal and Lester appeared on either side of the hall created by the break of cubicles. Both seeing Bobby tied to the chair, they looked at each other confused. Hearing a soft _Pooft_, Cal screamed, "FUCK! What the hell was that?!" Lester looked around wildly. Stephanie calmly stepped out, cocking a gun at each man.

"Bomber, you know we didn't mean any harm in it. We just wanted to light a fire under your ass for a little while." Lester held his hands up while he tried to placate Stephanie.

Stephanie's eyes narrowed as she turned her head to watch both men. "Fire under my ass?! How's this for a fire under my ass?" Shooting the gun again, Lester dropped with a moan. Holding his manhood with both hands, he rolled on the ground, moaning several decibels higher than he thought his voice could go.

Cal slowly started backing away. "Bomber, it was all in fun. Please, Bomber, you don't want to hurt me."

Stephanie laughed. "Oh yes….yes, I do, Cal." Firing her gun, the pellet bounced off the middle of Cal's tattoo on his forehead. Yelping, Cal spun around, but before he could flee, Stephanie fired off another shot, this time hitting his square in the ass. Cal yelped again, and grabbed his butt with both hands before, dropping to the floor and rolling behind a cubicle wall.

It was at this time that Ranger and Tank decided to come off the elevator on the fifth floor. Both men's eyebrows raised as they stared at the mess that was the office. Rodriguez was kicking his desk, Hal was silently screaming, Lester was rolling on the floor, Cal was hiding, and Binkie and Ram were both still unconscious. Both men looked at the middle of the room where Stephanie was calmly eating her Baby Ruth bar on Bobby's lap, while Bobby's eyes bugged out of his head.

Walking over to Stephanie, Ranger pulled her off Bobby's lap. "You never disappoint, Babe."


End file.
